Jesus Christ. What the? Why? War Machine is getting married. What a time to fucking be alive!?!? TMZ with the scoop on Mr. Machine finding love behind bars because of course he did. "The good news for War Machine is that he found love and he's now engaged to 30-year-old Ashley Farrington ... bad news is there's no conjugal visits in the state where he's locked up. Congrats?" But wait there's more! "Feelings developed and, earlier this year, the 36-year-old former UFC star wrote a poem asking for her hand in marriage. She said yes, even though he was sans ring." WTF? Update: WM is still serving a life sentance for being a horrible human being and is not eligible for parole until he's 71.