If you\u2019re a fan of MMA and you can\u2019t remember what you get paid to do at work anymore, you may have been watching or listening to the broadcast of Chael Sonnen\u2019s hearing before the Nevada State Athletic Commission. To sum things up, Chael admitted he was guilty, and the Commission wanted to rub it in a bit. According to Assistant Attorney General Eccles, Chael used five drugs that were prohibited at all times. And he wasn\u2019t sympathetic because Chael never actually fought while on the drugs. He cheated, he got caught, and a great penalty would be appropriate. Chael\u2019s attorney characterized the actions the Commission had already taken against his client as \u201csevere.\u201d Three different doctors prescribed the drugs to Sonnen. But according to Chael, that isn\u2019t unusual. He wasn\u2019t physician-shopping. Nonetheless, Chael admitted he was guilty, he said he was ashamed, and he indicated that he was not prepared to offer any defense. Now, it\u2019s time for a lesson in pharmacology. Two doctors testified about the drugs Chael was using. Dr. Trainor explained that Clomiphene can be used as a masking agent, to conceal performance-enhancing drugs. Moreover, it restores the body\u2019s natural production of testosterone. Anastrozole is an anti-estrogen medication used to treat breast cancer. He called it a \u201cdrug to cheat.\u201d According to Trainor, HGH is used to enhance muscle mass, and EPO is typically used by cancer patients with low red blood cell counts. It increases the blood\u2019s ability to contain oxygen, thereby increasing the user\u2019s stamina. He speculated that Chael must have used HGH recently, because it is so difficult to test for. Sonnen denied taking any other prohibited drugs, but he admitted he has taken Ambien. He complained that there is quite a bit of confusion about drug testing. Assistant Attorney General Eccles was flabbergasted. He found it unbelievable that a man using needles didn\u2019t know what was prohibited. He asked for a two-year suspension and a firm deadline by which Sonnen had to pay a fine. Commissioner Lundvall acknowledged that Sonnen has already suffered quite a bit. For instance, he lost his jobs at the UFC and at Fox. He wondered why the Commission should be inclined to continue piling on. And he suggested a novel punishment: condemning Sonnen to work with the Commission to educate them about how fighters cheat. They found him guilty. Sonnen agreed to abide by a 2-year suspension. He agreed not to fight in any other jurisdiction for that time (we don't know about Metamoris), an concession that the Commission might not have had the authority to enforce. He was ordered to reimburse the NSAC for the costs of testing, he received no actual monetary penalties, and he was sentenced to work with the Commission. So in the end, Chael scored a sweet new job. Now that\u2019s over, and the most interesting quote from the hearing, in my opinion, came from Chael. When asked if he wanted to clear the air about any other hypothetical substances he had been taking, he answered, \u201cI\u2019ve always been a square. I have never tasted alcohol.\u201d Maybe that\u2019s true, the part about the alcohol. And maybe the caption of this video is totally wrong, and training at Tenth Planet is just like totally, totally relaxing.