20 bucks

"I can’t stand the guy, he’s a piece of sh*t,” says Stephan Bonnar about Tito Ortiz. Ah yes, Dr. Bonnar has transformed into Mr. American Psycho again. Stephan Bonnar's persona lies somewhere between that of an eccentric college professor and the sort of guy who makes people uncomfortable on the subway. A fine ESPN analyst one moment, and a deranged fellow making fart noises in an Adam Corolla shirt the next. He takes the second approach in this interview with Marcos Villegas of Fighthub. “No more fakeness. Oh yeah, what an honor, he’s such a great champion.” Bonnar whines. “And a true *insert four fart noises* Everyone’s sick of hearing that. Guy’s a douchebag, and I can’t stand him.” Aside from causing us to wonder whether Stephan has been toileting his neuroleptic medication, the most interesting part of this interview is the story about when his boundless hatred for Tito Ortiz began. “It was UFC 33. First got back on PPV, it was a really exciting moment . . . and I had people over, I was so excited for it. And he was the main event, and he fought Vlad Matyushenko, and it was the boringest fight ever. The whole card sucked, but he could have saved it. He could have saved that card and didn’t. He chose to have the most boring fight ever, and then he paraded around afterwards like he was the greatest thing, and I had to defend this sport to my friends. I had to be like no, no, this sport, this is an awesome sport, trust me. They were like, ‘This is bullcrap, give me my five dollars back.’” An impoverished Stephan Bonnar painfully handed people a few five dollar bills. “That’s where it started,” he concluded. One can’t help visualizing the tiny sparkling embers of a later immeasurable wrath. The kiln of Bonnar’s hatred continued to warm as Tito acted out a series of jerkish scenarios. Like the time he “talked sh*t to Ken Slamcock.” Of course, Bonnar just insulted Ken there as well. But he’s the American Psycho, he gets to do that. Given what happened in his living room almost fifteen years ago it is no surprise that Dana White gave Bonnar his blessing when he was invited to fight. “I hit him up, just over text and let him know I got a pretty crazy offer. That Bellator was interested in me fighting Tito. Obviously I didn’t want to burn any bridges, and wanted to know what he thought of it. He wished me the best in beating the shit out of him and making a lot of money.” Bonnar and Ortiz fight at Bellator 131 on November 15th, in San Diego, California.