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A Lesson in Street MMA: Don’t get knocked out by a tree trying to run away from the bout

These two gentlemen clearly had some sort of disagreement at the local park when it was decided that the only way to settle this grievous incompatibility would be to engage in fisticuffs. One man doesn’t believe in physical altercations, all he wants to do is put on his shirt and go home to wrap himself in an Edgar Rice Burroughs book, or perhaps to check on Elon Musk’s progress with that super fast tunnel or something. The last thing he wants is to have to hurt another human being over something trivial that went down in a park. A place of joy.

So the man turns to run, but he doesn’t make it far; a racist tree stops him cold in his tracks. Thanks Obama.

At least his would-be opponent is sympathetic to his plight. He helps him recover from this brutal knockout and soiled drawers with much empathy.

They would go home and listen to Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror on repeat for hours.

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