We know EXACTLY when the world will end, and there’s nothing to worry about

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sick of everyone trying to predict the end of the world and doing so through the least scientific of means. There were no ancient prophecies, there won’t be a judgement day and the four horsemen will never be more than a vehicle to make Ric Flair more popular in the Southern states in the 1980’s, or a Metallica song that sounds exactly like Megadeth’s Mechanix. So we can stop making movies featuring Bruce Willis, asteroids and awful Aerosmith songs already, because the end of the world will probably be in 2.8 Billion years.

Astrobiologist Jack O’Malley-James of the University of St Andrews in the United Kingdom has ran a computer simulation which he believes can accurately depict what will go down over the span of the rest of time and from what he’s seen, the Earth has about 2.8 billion years before life is completely wiped out. In about 2 billion years all of the Earth’s water will disappear, which will probably be the end of most of the sophisticated life that we know, leaving the Earth looking more like the planet Arrakis from Dune, just without the “Spice” that led to Paul Atreides being kind of a bad ass for a while.

It seems like it is time to start getting a contingency plan into place and get some people onto some new planets already.

Published on July 4, 2013 at 7:10 pm
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