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Google just filed a patent for a lie detecting microphone throat tattoo

It took a while to process exactly what I was reading. I’m still not quite sure I believe it. There’s no way Miley Cyrus was smoking a joint on stage in Amsterdam. She’s had a bit of a hard time for her image and her dancing recently but she was a Disney star dammit! Why can’t they all grow up to be bubblegum pop stars who play nice with the media and the fans like Britney Spears? It’s as if making children into such huge stars and placing unrealistic images on them at an early age has some sort of negative effect on them or something.

Honestly, it’s no wonder people pay more attention to anything with Miley’s name in the headline than the story that Google Motorola’s Mobility division just filed a patent for a throat tattoo which contains a microphone and potentially also an in built galvanic skin response system for lie detection. I mean, it would be a “flexible substrate” of unknown material, sure. And, you could use it to talk to your phone so it would be less stupid looking than the bluetooth cockroaches we use at the minute. It’s essentially the coolest temporary tattoo ever.

Aside from the galvanic skin response bit, that’s just a bit creepy. Oh, and as The Register pointed out, the filed patent application does not mention a method for the throat tattoo’s removal. You can check out their claim by reading the full application here.

When I’m on the train and I’m telling my phone to look at ”weather, weeeether. NO WEATHER YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP,” I don’t feel futuristic, I just feel like an idiot. Not sure how much that will change with a microphone tattooed to my throat. especially if I’m using it to communicate with my glasses that I want to delete all the spam being delivered directly to my eyeballs. Welcome to the future.

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