Someone out there will watch all 23:17 minutes of Nick Diaz doing work on a speed bag. If you want to donate your hard-earned time to the 209, then let me encourage you to write a three-paragraph essay on the video, complete with a cohesive introduction and sturdy closing. You will not only be graded on grammar, but transitional sentences, how well you articulate your topic, along with syntactical structure. This essay will count towards your final exam grade — which all of you shouldn’t be late for. Actually, if you’re late, we’re going to deduct 10% off your test score and then give you a nasty stamp at the top of your paper. Damn. Screw you, AP English. C+ student for life.
Nick Diaz didn’t have to worry about the agita of English class because he dropped out of high school in order to be a professional fist-in-face master. Since he’s your favorite fighter, we know you want to watch this twenty three-minute long video of Nick Diaz punishing a speed bag. What did that vinyl do to him? The world may never know.