You can tell who’s a blackbelt by this dojo’s reaction to the Russian meteor explosion

You can tell who's a blackbelt by this dojo's reaction to the Russian meteor explosion

A gargantuan, potentially cataclysmic object soared across the skies of Russia and not a single motorist pulled over on the side of the street or even slowed down. If you look at all of those dashboard videos of that meteor from last week exploding over the skies of Siberia, the greatest thing we can infer is Russians don’t give a sh** about civilization-ending space debris. These Russians truly are the last men left on the earth — even their women.

Look at a guy like Aleksander Emelianenko. If humanity ever switched over to a strict diet of eating just grizzly bears, he would be an official diplomat in the matter. When Aleksander hunts bears, he uses a fork in order to skip like 72 steps of preparation. Aleksander Emelianenko likes his bears rare. So rare that he doesn’t need to go through those menial processes — like eating off a plate. In Russia, plates eat off you.

Having a black belt in Russia means that you’ve completely removed every emotion reserved for normal humans, and replaced them with god-like stoicism and world-class apathy. Check out this video of the Russian meteor exploding over a karate/sambo dojo, and use your Inspector Gadget skills to discover who the true black belts are inside the facility.

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Published on February 21, 2013 at 4:27 am
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