With this 34-second KO last weekend, we’re pretty sure heavyweight Jared Rosholt is UFC bound

We have yet another one of those Oklahoma State wrestlers that’s on the verge of just dominating every single shred of competition in their division. Whatever they’re feeding those dudes in Oklahoma, they need to force feed it to some of these guys in Silverlake, California. If I see another hipster in skinny jeans with a beanie in the middle of the summer — I’m going to light a kitten on fire and throw it in a Starbucks.

Woah, that took a turn for the worst. Alright, I won’t harm any cats — or any human beings for that matter. I just have to accept the fact that guys in Hollywood are just more feminized than the average dude from Oklahoma State University, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Continue to rock those skinny jeans and listen to Atreyu. Those Oklahoma State guys will wear their cauliflower ears as badges of honor and continue their pursuit of putting A1 steak sauce on everything they eat  — because we all know A1 steak sauce is the manliest condiment, known to man.

Jared Rosholt, younger brother of former UFC middleweight Jake Rosholt, is 8-1 and is obviously leaving a path of bodies that will ultimately end inside the UFC Octagon. This past weekend at C3 Fights – Summer Slamfest 2, Jared decided to punctuate his ninth professional MMA bout by knocking out his opponent in thirty-four seconds. Have a look if you don’t believe me.

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