With a little help from his savior, Vitor Belfort headkicked Mike Bisping straight to hell

Matthew 21:12 – Jesus Christ walks like a badass into the temple and delivers his own Lesson in Street MMA: thou shall not peddle for profit in the house of God. Then he kicked off his sandals and flips some tables (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ letting everyone know he means business. It was with this same sacrilegious intensity that Vitor Belfort stepped into the Octagon in Sao Paulo, Brazil tonight on FX and thoroughly demolished The Count, Michael Bisping.

Round 1 at the start was Bisping being Bisping, feeling out Belfort and finding his range with the jab. Belfort took his time countered with the quickness of an old-school lion. Towards the end of round 1, Belfort bloodies Bisping’s nose in a fit of beautiful alliteration. This dazes Bisping, but he somehow survives the round. All statistics show us that surviving the first round with Belfort gives you a solid chance of winning the fight (Belfort hasn’t won out of the first round in over 4 years and has 1 decision win in the last decade) but the second round starts and Belfort nails a left head kick that puts Bisping down on his bum. As Belfort finishes off a downed Bisping with strikes, he possibly quotes The Big Lebowski.

After the referee stops the fight, Belfort checks on Bisping, thanks God, then calls out Jon Jones for a rematch (and Chael a cow?) after winning a middleweight fight. Seriously, is middleweight the new light heavyweight? Cut to Rich Franklin in Ohio.

There’s a .gif after the jump!

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