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Watch Shane Carwin on today’s ESPN Sportscenter

The average Shane Carwin fight lasts 1:07 and 100% of those twelve fights have gone to Carwin. Dude’s undefeated and his hands are the size of your hopes and dreams when you were a teenager. Getting punched by Shane Carwin must be what this guy felt like when he got his head stuck in a particle accelerator. It can cause undesirable and adverse effects…like getting knocked the [expletive] out. I have to use ‘expletive’ because I’m a classy dude, even when I scavenge my bedroom floor for a clean shirt and eventually settle for whatever has the lesser odor. Shane Carwin vs. Brock Lesnar goes down this weekend and if you’re anywhere near the vicinity, I suggest you throw on your radiation suit (you can get them at Wal-Mart near the ‘sporting goods’ aisle) because it’s going to end in a nuclear explosion. Just one massive crater in the middle of Las Vegas and one man will eventually climb out with the UFC Heavyweight belt and one hell of a bedtime story to tell their kids. Check out Shane Carwin in today’s ESPN Sportscenter and have your day instantly made.

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