Before we watch Ariel Helwani go unhinged in the absolutely best way, you first must know the backstory. After UFC 218 in Detroit, the paper of record in the market the Detroit Free Press blasted the event.
Yes, that UFC 218. The one with Max Holloway vs. Jose Aldo, Francis Ngannou uppercuts, Alvarez vs. Gaethje violence just on the main card. Plus an amazing undercard.
“I’m going to write something that might get me killed, but I’ll write it anyway.
Here it is. Dana White, if you’re going to bring a UFC event back to Detroit, you’ve really got to bring it. Come big, or don’t come at all.
White is the UFC president and he has to do better than what he gave us at UFC 218 at Little Caesars Arena on Saturday night.
Yes, there were some good fights and some big moments, but the event largely lacked star power and the wow factor. At UFC 217 on Nov. 4 at Madison Square Garden in New York, White said there were so many “holy (shoot) moments” that it amounted to a “holy (shoot)” night. Detroit didn’t even feature a handful of those moments that brought fans out of their seats.”
“I guess we’re supposed to root for big events to come to Detroit. The bigger the better. More, more, more. But I hope LCA executives demand a better card with more title fights if UFC comes back and will ask the organization how the event will be better that it was Saturday. I hope fight fans in Detroit demand the same.
And I hope White and UFC take a hard, honest look at the lack of holy shoot moments Saturday. I hope they listen to the opinion of someone who enjoys wrestling and boxing and martial arts and was largely underwhelmed Saturday.
Come big, or don’t come at all.”
This is why the newspaper industry is dying! Not really, but if as a sports fan you cannot not find any value in UFC 218, we just can’t help you. MMA is just not for you and that’s cool.
The hot takes from the DFP even caused the normally even-keeled Ariel Helwani to go on an epic rant. Helwani saying the word ‘fuck’ is like hearing your parents say ‘fuck’ for the first time. We were fucking floored when we heard it. Brace yourselves.
Just keep your head down, eat your mashed potatoes and don’t make eye contact with Helwani when he’s cursing up a storm.
— Jed I. Goodman (@jedigoodman) December 6, 2017
H/T to the God @jedigoodman for the clip and the Seinfeld soundtrack