Tim Kennedy ranger uped Robbie Lawler in a unanimous decision. We don’t even know what that means

Last night I tried to explain the enigma of Tim Kennedy to someone that doesn’t follow MMA. It started off with me telling her that Tim Kennedy used to kill people as part of his profession, and in the meantime he uses his downtime manifest a mean shrimp ceviche. If people only knew how much Jason Nawara appreciated Kennedy, then a long string of restraining orders would follow. To say Jason has a man crush on Tim Kennedy is an understatement. The dude would have an artificial uterus implanted in his body in order to host Tim Kennedy’s babies. Imagine that. Actually, don’t imagine that. That’s just horrible.

Kennedy vs. Lawler, a fight so manly that your television started to grow hair on its chest. The blood started flowing early in the fight when Robbie Lawler connected with what appeared to be a straight jab. It’s impossible to sum up the damage accumulated by both fighters in the fight in a paragraph, but I can relate the fight to the chemical reaction that happens when mercury fulminate hits the ground in a drug dealer’s compound. It’s just impossible to get off my current ‘Breaking Bad’ kick. The show is remarkable, and comparisons to Breaking Bad and MMA should occur with a far higher frequency. In the end, Kennedy pulled out the unanimous decision and gave a post-fight speech that even made Reed Harris get teary-eyed in the cage. Props to Kennedy on another win, and hopefully tonight’s fight will inspire another ground-breaking recipe for MiddleEasy.

Published on July 31, 2011 at 3:30 am
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