If money was laundered, it was only because Chael Sonnen was bored with importing illegal words into the English language. One should never accuse Sonnen of anything, ever — unless you’re ready to overdose on a drug called ‘mind blown.’ When companies place their logo on Sonnen’s fight shorts, they’re also inadvertently giving a stamp of approval to all gangsters from West Linn, Oregon. I could go on all day, but my head is starting to hurt from thinking of these mildly-funny one-liners.
At the end of the day, never accuse Chael Sonnen of mortgage fraud. Actually, that’s incorrect. Never accuse Chael Sonnen of mortgage fraud if he suspects that you are involved in domestic abuse. Last week it was revealed that Sonnen abruptly left a local Oregon sports show just before accusing the host of ‘beating his wife.’ Now we have audio proof of the incident, and it’s classic pre-fight Chael.