Whenever you get a bag of grapes, there’s always that one that you initially pick up with the anticipation of eating only to find out there’s some abnormal growth on the side. You place it back in the bag, try to forget that it even exist until you get to the bottom, better known as the ‘grape graveyard’. Here you’ll find a potpourri of loose and assorted grapes, some with their own little imperfections. Depending on how hungry you are, your ‘grape eating standards’ may lower and the grape with the flap of brown skin hanging off the side suddenly doesn’t look so bad. However, there still exists that one grape that will undoubtedly manifest itself into something that only weeks of psychological therapy can cure. For Chael Sonnen, that grape is Jeremy Horn.
When Chael Sonnen claimed that he defeated every middleweight he’s ever faced, apparently he wasn’t talking about Horn. We can’t even think like Jeremy Horn. Any guy that has over 140 MMA fights to his name resides in a different dimension. Wherever that is, they probably don’t think in objects and words but just how many times something can be punched in the face before it drops to the ground.
Jeremy Horn is the only guy to defeat Chael Sonnen three times. The first of which happened at Extreme Challenge 57 in Council Bluffs, Iowa. I challenge anyone to throw a rock in a crowd out there and not hit a country singer who rocks a cowboy hat and plays on a multi-colored guitar. Jeremy Horn managed to finish Chael Sonnen at 3:34 in the first round due to a doctor’s stoppage from a nasty cut above Chael’s eye. We caught up with Jeremy Horn yesterday to ask him what exactly happened in that bout. Extracting whatever memory from his 140+ fight database, Horn told us ‘Yeah. I was winning until the cut. I took him down and was landing punches. It was a short fight‘.
At Horn’s second fight with Chael at SF 6: Battleground in Reno, he managed to sink a guillotine late in the second round to secure yet another victory over the conservative republican from West Linn, Oregon. In their third and final bout held at UFC 60: Hughes vs Gracie, Jeremy Horn pulled off an armbar to collect his twentieth limb to hang over his fireplace somewhere in Salt Lake City, Utah. We asked Jeremy to expand on whether her thought his constant encounters with Chael Sonnen was part of some celestial plan, unfortunately he didn’t share in our new-age hippie belief ‘It was nothing special. Just an odd chance that we kept fighting‘. Jeremy Horn, the most efficient answerer in MMA.
In lieu of the awesome that is tonight’s UFC 117 event, we proposed to Horn the hypothetical question that if he was cornering Anderson Silva, what tips would he give him to defeat Chael Sonnen. Horn responded with ‘I don’t think Anderson Silva needs any help from me. They both have improved since we fought so I don’t know how the fight will go‘. That would be my exact answer minus the whole ‘since we fought’ part. For those of you who are wondering, of course Jeremy Horn fought Anderson Silva. It happened at Gladiator FC back in 2004. In that encounter, The Spider pulled out the victory over Horn in a highly fulfilling three-round decision. If you want to jump into the theoretical future on the tactics Chael Sonnen will most likely use against Anderson Silva, watch the first round of that fight. Don’t worry, we’ve already found it for you.
For some reason, it feels like I need to end this Jeremy Horn piece with some sort of joke. Apparently an exclusive interview with Horn just wasn’t enough for some of you out there. Alright, fine. Red, yellow and white is camouflage at a McDonalds. There. Have a good day.