Roy Nelson just made Brendan Schaub’s head explode

Everybody get those KFC two-for-one coupons and barrels of Sam’s Club mayonaise out so we can celebrate Roy Nelson winning The Ultimate Fighter Season 10. Big Country just proves that if you judge a book by it’s cover, that book will catch you with a right hook behind the ear and make you cross-eyed. Nelson’s t-shirts were created by stitching together the remains of 12 other t-shirts Big Country decimated during his ceremony. I had to make that joke, I was literally obligated to. I’m sure Roy Nelson will not mind. If a dude is named ‘Big Country’, seems like a lot of things sort of just roll off his back…or his belly. Another belly joke, I’m pretty much writing the ‘Ground-and-Pound Zeus until he no longer can have children’ contract and handing it over to Roy Nelson. Roy is the type of guy you take to a buffet and he actually maps out a plan before snatching a plate. The term ‘All you can eat’ is not a guideline, but a challenge to him. They should change it to ‘In-between all of what Olga Sherer can eat and a quarter of what Roy Nelson can eat’. That would give the cooks a fair chance. A ‘cookers chance’.

So what does that mean for the UFC Heavyweight division? It means that within a year, Big Country will hold the UFC Heavyweight belt. He’ll put it right next to his IFL belt…which is right next to his collection of Chinese Take-out menus. Congrats Big Country for igniting the UFC with your Brazilian jiu-jitsu belly. 

 

Published on December 6, 2009 at 4:53 am
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