Ross Pearson has enough ink on his arms to illustrate a small children’s coloring book. That’s all I have for you tonight. One single joke placed in the front of a brief article so that you won’t have to read the rest of the words. I would like to thank my parents for not drowning me in a bath tub when I was young. I would also like to thank my philosophy teacher at the University of Arizona for giving me an A in the class just because I asked. That really helped out my GPA that year. Last but not least, I would like to thank my Samsung television for providing me with UFC on FX so I could see Ross Pearson use arcane magic and levitate George Sotiropoulos and then drop him on the mat, knocking him out in the process. Look, there’s even a .gif of the incredible stunt thanks to Jar of Flies from the UG.







