Don’t give me any of your silly ‘Dude, it’s spelled freight train’ comments. We all know what a frate trane is and we just saw one on display tonight at UFC 157.
There’s nothing the universe can do to get Ronda Rousey to go past the first round. Give her 4:59 handicap and she’ll find a way to finish the fight with less than a second left. Start a Ronda Rousey fight in the second round and she’ll spin around the planet until time reversed. If you play Monopoly with Ronda, she’ll end up drawing every ‘extra turn’ card until she takes all your money and win the game. The point I’m trying to make is Ronda Rousey is the UFC champion and it’s going to stay like that for a very, very long time.
We have to give it up to Liz Carmouche tonight, however. That modified rear-naked neck crank looked super-humanly tight on Ronda Rousey. We know you guys jumped out of your seat when that happened — envisioning another King Mo or Alistair Overeem moment. Fortunately for the champion, her stubborn mental fortitude enabled her to keep her composure and eventually shake Carmouche off.
With just eleven seconds in the first round, Ronda Rousey applied one of her god-like armbars to force Liz to immediately tap — earning her seventh first round win in her seven-fight career. People need to realize that when it comes to the sport of mixed martial arts, Ronda Rousey is the closest thing the world has to perfect. Ronda Rousey is perfection. She’s also not marrying you, despite all your lame marriage proposals on Facebook and Twitter. Stop with that stuff, folks. It makes you look like a moron.
Check out this .gif of this finish, provided by 4chan.