Ronda Rousey doesn’t care if Cris Cyborg injects ‘horse semen into her eye balls,’ just make 135 lbs

The implied meaning in this Ronda Rousey quote from a John Pollock interview on The MMA Report is so vast that your brain will need an aircraft carrier to relay the message. According to National Geographic, Mongolia is the only country in which the population of horses out number that of humans. Technically if Cris Cyborg was injecting horse semen into her eye balls, it was most likely a horse indigenous to Mongolia. In the MMA industry, we simply refer to Mongolia as a promising buffet for Alistair Overeem.

Ronda Rousey has the same initials as my elementary school soccer team, ‘Red Raptors.’ Our team name was then changed to ‘Red Raptures’ because I grew up in Texas and people are generally thick-headed with their religious beliefs. For those unfamiliar with mystical nonsense, rapture is the Christian escthalogical belief that ‘chosen’ people will magically disappear and the remaining people on earth will have to face the end of the world. Damn, I could only hope that would be true. Driving the 101 from Hollywood to Downtown LA would be a breeze.

I’m sure if you asked Ronda about Christianity just days from her fight, she’ll look at you like she glared at Heidi Androl a few months ago. Check out what she told John Pollock in an interview regarding Cris Cyborg making weight.

“If she wants to fight me than she is going to have to find a way to come down to 135. We’ll see how she does in a fair fight for once in her life. She has a history of coming in over weight to fights and I wouldn’t doubt that if we agreed to a catchweight of 140, she’d show up at 145 anyway and be like ‘ah whatever, fight or not’, she’s done this many times before. I don’t owe her anything, she’s completely defamed and anything she’s ever done is nothing because she is a big old cheater and has been doping her whole life and I think part of the reason why people like Dana think there is a lack of depth in all these divisions is because this girl is doping and making everyone look like they aren’t in her league and I think the reason why people look at women’s MMA like that was because of people like her. She is nothing but a detriment and the only positive she could play is an Ivan Drago bad guy that gets beat to hell by a Rocky. So no, she can fight me down at 135 because I have a whole line of people that want to fight me already and I don’t owe her anything, I don’t need to come up and it’s just like why would I want to come up to her weight? She’s the one, stop doping, lose the weight or she can either do the drugs and fight me at 135 and have the drugs be just as much a detriment as a help to her during the weight cut or she can cut out the doping and make the weight easily. As long as she makes 135 I don’t care if she’s injecting horse semen into her eye balls but that’s the only way I think it would be a fair fight and she’s never had a fair fight in her life and I see how the prospect of that would scare the hell out of her and why she would insist at fighting heavier.”

If Cris Cyborg injects horse semen into her eye balls, Alistair Overeem is eating horse-semen injected eye balls for lunch that day. Ew, horse semen.

Published on August 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm
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