This article was created to make you feel inadequate about your inability to not get punched in the face if you find yourself in the Streets of Rage. Not everyone can exist in a universe that has the same physics as Ninja Gaiden. Also, not everyone can have a last name that sounds like ‘anus.’ Look at that, two video game references in less than a 10-second time frame. It’s like I froze time and granted the world with something really cool, like that chick in ‘Out of this World.’ For those not adept in random 90s sitcoms, Out of this World takes the premise that a half-alien teenager has supernatural powers obtained from her full-alien father. She occasionally contacts her father through the use of a multi-dimensional glowing cube that she keeps on her bed stand. Ah, the 90s — back when television could be ridiculously confusing and still maintain a watchable level of awesomeness.
Television is still cool, but only if mainstream entertainment takes note of the sport we all love. Unfortunately on the Jimmy Fallon Show, he referred to Michael Schiavello’s infamous pronunciation of Danny Mainus’ last name at RFA 7 on AXS TV — and then said it was UFC! Bummer.