MMA Rundown

Opinion: Without Fedor Bellator went Bellator. So what is life without the GOAT?

After the man took Fedor’s fight from us, what is the purpose of life?

Did Matt Matrione (shout out Black Beast) really get down with the sickness or did Scott Coker enact his masterplan? Why did does life suck? Why will a Bellator always Bellator despite all of our hopes that it will do better?

Why can’t we watch Josh Koscheck return to the cage after nearly 1,000 years of inactivity and not expect to see his blood shed with glee like normal sociopaths? Why can’t we watch whichever Pitbull brother did that thing where they knock people unconscious to Josh Thomson without feeling like a living piece of fecal matter?

These are the questions I ask myself today… why did fate/little Baby Jesus cheat me out of what I rightfully deserved? If it wasn’t abundantly clear what I deserved, it was Fedor beating the fuck out of someone, or Fedor getting the fuck beat out of him by someone.

This is the existential crisis that all MMA fans currently face…

The solution? I suggest watching this video of Fedor eating ice cream at minimum 6 times & wake up today and pray to the Lord of Black Beasts that Derrick Lewis murders Travis Browne today. As an objective journalist, it’s the only responsible advice I can give.

Andrew Lawrence is a writer, podcaster, and jack of all trades. As long as that trade involves discussing people getting punched in the mouth. Expert analyst of extremely dumb decision making. Consistently snarky towards his betters. Find him throwing shade at local governments on Twitter (@TheClownKid). Diaz 1,2,5.