Oh no! Brian Ebersole’s girlfriend shaved the Hairrow!

No. Damn it, no. Approximately 48-53 hours ago I awoke out of a sound sleep with a sense of foreboding dread. Since then I’ve been losing my keys at a higher frequency, I’ve gotten 2 parking tickets in 4 days and I’m almost positive a portal to hell has opened in my upstairs closet.

I think I know why.

Around the same time of my nightmarish awakening, Brian Ebersole was on the other side of the world having his ‘Hairrow’™ shaved in a coup worthy of JFK level sabotage and deception. It’s gone. The Hairrow has been mutilated and I am a lost soul. We are alive purely by chance and nothing happens when we die. I know this now.

Does this woman know what she’s done?

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