Ever since I read the Indian in the Cupboard when I was a kid, I wanted to carry around a little person in my pocket. There is something I find very endearing about feeding crumbs of food that are huge to them while I tuck them in for the night in a cozy matchbox. Don’t worry inexplicably small person, I will watch over you. Everything would be better if miniature people existed and we could keep them in our pocket. Sadly, that bright light would inevitably grow dark. The human race is competitive by nature and there is no doubt that the very tiny people would probably end up having to fight for their “carriers” honor on top of bar counter tops across the nation on Saturday nights. At first the ruleset would be as minuscule as the participants. The tiny combatants would use those little swords that bartenders put the cherries on in tropical drinks like Kali specialists in the Philippines. Shrunken versions of the Keith Hackney vs. Joe Sun incident would be commonplace, and we couldn’t have that. Alas the human race is too cruel to take care of extremely small people. Honey I Shrunk the Kids proved that many times. That’s why we are lucky to have our almost incomprehensibly powerful smart phones, they let us put tiny dangerous little men into our pocket, and we can pull them out to compete in MMA whenever we want, EA released the EA MMA IPhone app earlier this year, and now THQ is letting you tote around virtual fighters in the palm of your hand for the low price of $6.99. The same amount of money it would cost to feed a fully grown 4 inch tall man for a year.
In UFC Undisputed 2010 for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad, players will explore a simplified interface, including swipes on the touch screen, to execute punches, kicks, takedowns and more, while quick and fun puzzle paths will be implemented for players to escape submissions. Featuring a roster of 25 prolific UFC fighters from all of UFC’s official weight classes, each with an authentic appearance, players will have access to an Exhibition Mode for quick-play single bouts, a Tournament Mode to compete for a UFC Championship and unparalleled social networking connectivity, enabling players to share game progress and achievements with friends through Facebook and Twitter. A Leaderboard System will encourage players to compare fight results with others and determine leaders in wins by knockout, submission or decision, while the UFC Portal will keep players up to date with UFC through the latest news and information on upcoming events, access to fighter profiles, PPV predictions and an active UFC ticker filled with updates. In addition, expansion packs for UFC Undisputed 2010 for the iPhone, iPod touch and iPad are expected to begin this holiday, adding fighters from all five of UFC’s official weight classes.