No Rampage, let Jake Shields teach you how to properly motorboat

Whenever someone guffawed at my Daewoo Lanos in college before they hopped in the passenger seat, I always told them ‘My car is better than your shoes.’ Around that time, there was a song by the (now defunct) group, The Coup, with the lyrics ‘My car is better than your shoes.’ Without that song, I would have never been able to say ‘my car is better than your shoes.’ Instead, I would probably say something like ‘Dude, the windows don’t roll down so if you’re claustrophobic, this isn’t the ride for you.’ Unfortunately, that just doesn’t roll off the tongue.

Now, the Daewoo is decimated. Totaled by an elderly drunk driver, and the only thing I have left to show for it is The Coup’s album case. Somewhere in all of this, there’s a segue to Jake Shields motoboating Tracy Lee, but in reality I just wanted to tell you guys about my deceased Daewoo Lanos. RIP Wo. [Source]

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