Survival of the fittest” is a term coined by Charles Darwin in his famous theory of evolution. It was based on his observations of bird species in the Galapagos Islands; specifically, their various beaks were able to crack open nuts of different sizes. At no time in his studies did Darwin ever think to examine Canadian teenagers fueled by hockey fandom and LaBatt Blue. Nick Ring has never claimed to be an expert in evolution, but he has gone on to do field research on this very subject because Charles Darwin was obviously a slacker.
A few hours ago, he walked into a Starbucks in Calgary to fuel up for the task. On his way out, he witnessed a couple getting attacked by approximately a dozen teens trying to steal the woman’s backpack. Today’s scientific explanation is that the couple probably watches too much television and not enough time practicing BJJ, but as an experiment in alpha-male superiority, the UFC fighter approached the scene in a vehicle, scared the punks away, saving the couple from further injury, then chased the perps until 5-6 of them were caught. He had this to say to the Calgary Herald:
“I did not like what I saw and I wasn’t going to stand around and watch that happen. It was a crime and it was completely wrong. I’m not going to let anything like that happen if I’ve got anything to say about it. Not a chance.”
“This one girl had another girl by her hair and was kneeing her in the face while her boyfriend was trying to protect the poor girl. It was right out of a movie, they were holding him back and beating him up as well. It was a really horrible thing to see.”
Ring continued to describe the victims’ injuries, which included some severe cuts and profuse bleeding. Both of them had to be hospitalized after the attack but thanks to the TUF alum, both are now in stable condition. And with that, his research on ‘survival of the fittest’ is complete.The mere presence of Nick Ring saved the day and he didn’t even have to throw a punch. Nowhere in Darwin’s theory of evolution will you read about the phenomenon that is ‘Canadian swagger’. Teens may be capable of all sorts of mischievous things in groups, but often scatter when alpha males like Nick Ring arrive to the scene. He will continue teaching teenagers how to behave as he makes his way closer to UFC 149 in Calgary and assuming he stays injury free, the remainder of Canadian citizens never has to learn how to fend for themselves. [source]
