If I told you that Nick Diaz’s brother, Nate, was a no-show for his UFC 103 conference call and you were surprised…I would probably take off my orthopedic Crocs and smack you with it. Dude was probably at a Circle K using the hot water from the coffee machine to make Top Ramen. I can’t even take credit for that one. MiddleEasy interviewer D**k ‘Starscream’ Grayson just woke up at 3pm and thought of it. He’s used that same method to create perhaps the rawesomeist contest idea that we’re still waiting to do with Jaco Clothing. We can’t tell you what it is but we can tell you it involves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
You all should remember the Nick Diaz saga that went down about a month ago. Dude was on the card to bang against Jay Hieron for Strikeforce’s Middleweight Title. Everything was going groovy until the CSAC wanted to drug test Nick Diaz (since they’ve been on a roll ever since Josh Barnett earlier that month). Apparently his trainer, Caesar Gracie, worked out a deal with the prior administrator of the CSAC which would allow Nick Diaz to roast the finest California herb without it posing a problem on any drug test. In November of 2008, the guards changed at CSAC and Diaz was still under the impression that he could burn refer with it being completely kosher. Well he was wrong and the dude ducked out of the entire fight just so that he won’t get the one-year mandatory ban administered by the CSAC for being caught with an illegal substance. In retrospect, it was a genius idea but it was just another paper cut for Jay Hieron who already endured a lifetime worth of bad luck in the course of a few months.
Now for today’s UFC Fight Night conference call, Nate Diaz was a no-show! We’re not quite sure what it means and we’re pretty sure that scientists haven’t developed a method to administer a drug-test over the phone…yet. Dude was a no-show which could only mean that…he wasn’t there for the conference call. If Nate Diaz is indeed rolling a spliff, we only ask that he burns it in honor of Eddie Bravo, Joe Rogan and that dude I met at Denny’s last weekend.