We got a series of interviews with Mike Swick after we pounded on his door in his Manila hotel room and 3:30 am and prayed that he wouldn’t systematically punch us in the throat in the process. Getting punched in the face, although it may hurt, is widely more acceptable than getting punched in the throat. If throat punching becomes popular in America, then the terrorists will win — and we don’t want that. Don’t even think about punching another human being in the throat. Don’t even think about not thinking about thinking about punching someone in the throat. It’s unnecessary violence that we can do without in 2012.
The first thing we asked Mike Swick after we barged into his hotel was why did he have to knock out our dude, DaMarques Johnson. That’s pretty rude of him, actually. DaMarques was our very first interview on MiddleEasy, and we cherish his existence the way a mother goat cherishes — things that mother goats cherish. Check out our quick interview with Swick and come back tomorrow for more cheesy ways to end sentences.