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MiddleEasy presents: The MMA Euphemism Translator, by @SpilledBagOfIce

MiddleEasy presents: The MMA Euphemism Translator, by @SpilledBagOfIce

Being a hardcore fan of MMA for nearly a decade and writing about it for several years, I hear a lot of the same phrases repeated by fighters, commentators,  journalists/bloggers, sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, d**kheads… and they all think I’m a righteous dude. So, whether you’re a newbie to the MMA world or an old-skool fight fan, you’ll find my translations of MMA cliches either enlightening or you’ll just nod your head knowingly. Enjoy!

“I’ll fight anyone they put in front of me” 
often means 
“I’ll fight anyone they put in front of me that I think I can beat and get a good pay day.”
 
“They really respect each other’s power/skills” or “A bit of a feeling out process”
often means 
“They ain’t really doing shit”
“This is a very technical fight” 
often means 
“Most of you are probably bored.” 
 
“I do my talking in the cage. I don’t need to trash talk” 
often means 
“I suck at trash talk” 

“This is my toughest fight/opponent” 

often means 
“I’m preemptively making an excuse if I lose or pumping up the fighter I beat to make the win seem more impressive”

“He could change the course of this fight with one punch” 

often means 
“He’s getting his ass kicked. But don’t tune out, maybe a Hail Mary punch will land… probably not though.”

“I want that belt!” 

often means 
“Regardless of the rank of who I just beat… I’m just gonna plant the idea that I’m a title contender.” 

“No way this fight goes to the judges!”  

often means 
“There’s probably a 50/’50 chance this fight goes to the judges.”
 
“I’m in the best shape of my career.” 
often means 
“What the fuck am I supposed to say, I had a shitty camp and I’m injured?”

“Yeah, it was a close fight but I think I did enough to win.” 

often means 
“I didn’t really win that fight” 

“He’s throwing with bad intentions/swinging for the fences” 

often means 
“That’s some sloppy ass striking”
 
Okay, fight fans, which MMA Euphemisms did I miss? Comment with your own!

 

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