Michael Phelps has been suspended by USA Swimming for six months, after he was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, and crossing double lines on an Interstate. The news was a crushing blow to a crestfallen Nick Diaz.
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” lang=”en”><p>I'm so disappointed in Michael phelps</p>— nick diaz (@nickdiaz209) <a href=”https://twitter.com/nickdiaz209/status/519324136217526273″>October 7, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Of course, the two have a lot in common. They might actually be soul mates.
Both men are elite athletes with superhuman cardiovascular conditioning. Both men have been seen smoking marijuana. Specifically, Phelps was photographed smoking from a glass bong in 2009. Nick Diaz is in the 209, and he is probably smoking right now. And to cap off their doppelgangster lifestyle, Nick was arrested on September 6th for allegedly driving under the influence, obstructing a police officer, destroying evidence and driving with a suspended licence. It was his second DUI arrest in ten months.
It’s almost like Phelps is modeling his life after Nick Diaz. So why is Nick so disappointed in his butterfly-stroking grasshopper?
For one thing, Phelps apologized back when they caught him with the bong. “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” he said. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.” He also agreed to enter a six-week inpatient treatment program after the DUI charge. And he got just the one DUI.
Hey Phelps. If you want to be Nick Diaz, be Nick Diaz. Tuck that ten inch bong in your swim shorts and flip the bird to that caravan of State Troopers on Interstate 95. Then drown those panicked apologies of yours and Tweet something respectable like this:
“For the record, right now, I think someone needed to come out and say it: I think smoking pot is good for mixed martial artists,” Diaz once said. “It’s a new day and age, this is, uh, the year. F— year is it? I don’t know, because I’ve been training and smoking pot like I should, instead of paying attention to other bullshit, which I don’t do.”
Anything less, and in the eyes of Nick Diaz, you are a moral failure.
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