I can say with absolute surety that I have never felt like a boss pumping gas, ever. I feel the complete opposite as I insert the pump nozzle into my little Hyundai’s gas tank. I feel more like a lowly indentured servant stuck in the bottom ranks of a secret American caste system. I can almost feel the piddly little dollars in my checking account being syphoned out of my hands via that nozzle and into the hands of greedy oil tycoons at the top of the caste system.
I’m not even sure it is a possibilty for me to ever feel like a boss while pumping gas. Maybe if I suddenly come into a large inheritance or gas prices fall overnight to 50 cents a gallon-maybe then I might feel boss-ish as I shove that big nozzle into my little 11 gallon tank and pull the trigger till the liquid fuel comes squirting back out of the tank and spills all over the ground. Yes, I might feel like a boss then but those are really my only two options, because its not likely I will be winning any championship belts like Pat Curran anytime soon. Pat Curran doesn’t need an inheritance or 50 cent gas to feel like a boss at the pump. All Pat Curran needs to inflict his boss status on those pumps is his shiny Bellator belt.
