Lashley can beat transformers

Bobby Lashley can defeat any Decepticon or Autobot known to man. This hasn’t been scientifically tested, but my hypothesis is Optimus Prime doesn’t have shit on Bobby Lashley. If Bobby Lashley were an autobot, he would transform into a hydrogen bomb with the words ‘Bad Ass Motherfucker’ engraved on the side and just bully entire planets.  

Until we see Bobby Lashley transform into his true form, we have to settle for a friggin ‘jump up and down like you have a seizure because you’re so excited’ fight between none other than Ex-NFL player Bob Sapp. BOB SAPP. Yes, Bob friggin Sapp. You’ve seen him before in Japan completing owning guys that are the equivalent of human micro-machines. He’s a Japanese fan favorite though because the dude is like the size of a Japanese Kami (Jpn 101, thank you for that reference). But some of you old schoolers out there remember how your boy from Holland, Ernesto Hooch, just murdered Sapp’s legs with a blitzkrieg of low kicks in the K1 tourney a few years ago, rendering him to a wobbly 300lber (sort of like my functioning alcoholic neighbor).  

I’m not sure what’s going to happen in this fight but I do know that its not going the distance and its ending with a KO. My advice for Lashley, transform back into your human form and then just rain low kicks on Sapp to impede his ring movement. Then fake the low kick and catch him with some overhand rights right in the snotbox. Alternatively, you can get exposed to gamma radiation and transform into…oh wait, that already happened.

Read more about this epic fight here. 

Published on May 11, 2009 at 1:56 pm
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