This morning I had a dream that Cain Velasquez was in my living room and he was remotely controlling himself with an Xbox controller in his UFC 160 fight against Bigfoot Silva. Yeah, so one Cain Velasquez in my living room and another fighting in the MGM Grand Garden Arena — a feat that can only exist on a quantum level. The first round he was dominating Bigfoot, just absolutely brutalizing him on his feet. Everything was going Cain Velasquez’s way until my internet connection abruptly went out. I tried rebooting my router, but when I reconnected, Bigfoot Silva was running around the Octagon with his hands up in victory. When they showed the replay, Cain Velasquez was in mid-punch when he suddenly collapsed to the mat — like someone unplugged his headjack in The Matrix. Bigfoot pounced on him, and then Herb Dean quickly jumped in to stop the fight. Cain’s reaction to himself getting finished due to my horrible internet connection was pretty nonchalant. He said something along the lines of ‘Well, I guess it’s my fault for trying to fight like this.’ I then went on Twitter to tell everyone that the reason why Cain Velasquez lost was because of my shady internet connection. It goes without saying that no one understood what I was talking about. When I woke up, there was a bee in my room.
Oh, this King Mo video of him wrestling a guy named J-Best in Ohio Valley Wrestling. Almost forgot.
