Kawajiri signing with ONE FC to fight in next month’s event is just too much of a good thing

I just finished submitting my proposal to the International MMA nickname committee to officially change Tatsuya ‘Crusher’ Kawajiri to simply…Killer Kawajiri. The International MMA nickname committee, formally known as Seanbaby‘s Megaman Robotic Villian naming committee, gave us late 80s/early 90s classics like ‘Cut-Man’, ‘Bubble-Man’, ‘Quick-Man’ and of course the world-renowned ‘Guts Man’. After getting smacked in the face by every elementary school fan for their lack of originality, the committee decided to transition into the world of MMA. Members of the newly formed International MMA nickname committee knew they had to break into the scene with a bang. One night, a member of the committee broke into Burt Reynolds’ upper-east side loft and stole the actor’s prized mustache. The next day, after hours of surgery, scientists managed to cybernetically implant the mustache on a new fighter soaring through the ranks of MMA. That day, in August 15th 1995 we all witnessed the birth of ‘The Predator’ Don Frye.

Kawajiri rocks his mutated cauliflower ear like it’s a Christmas ornament. If Kawajiri was a ninja turtle, he would immediately distance himself from Splinter. I’m not even sure what that meant, but that’s the type of vibe Kawajiri gives off whenever he steps in the cage. It’s like God specifically designed him to rock pink shorts and ground and pound people deep within earth’s core.

Now that MMAWeekly is reporting Tatsuya Kawajiri has been signed to fight in ONE FC 3, today has already reached it’s apex of rawesomeness. It’s all down-hill from here, folks. Actually, we have one exclusive video we’re going to publish later today — but after that, just go to bed.

Kawajiri’s opponent hasn’t been announced and we’re assuming the bout will take place at 145 lbs. ONE FC 3 goes down March 31st in Singapore, and if you liked our exclusive coverage of ONE FC 2 in Indonesia, we will undoubtedly deliver the international goods once again next month.

Stay up-to-date with the latest MMA news, rumors, and updates by following the RED Monster on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram. Also, don't forget to add MiddleEasy to your Google News feed Follow us on Google News for even more coverage.


Leave a Comment