Jose Aldo is a glowing supreme being in the featherweight division

If you want to know how to kick like Jose Aldo, tonight was your chance. Still, this does not guarantee that you will kick like Jose Aldo. It’s sort of like knowing that by rubbing two wooden sticks together, you can make a fire but when you actually try it, your hand ends up looking like Urijah Faber’s thigh. It’s an existential fact that Jose Aldo strikes with the force of Shaolin temple. It’s just something that humanity has to accept.

Jose Aldo has cleared out the featherweight division. Sure he hasn’t fought guys like Kawajiri, Hioki and Takaya — but we all know that Japanese MMA collapses when it’s imported on the landmass known as ‘America.’

Aldo is a living embodiment of everything that will ever be accomplished in the 145 lb division. He’s a tangible monolith of MMA perfection. Tonight, Jose Aldo can walk up to the balcony of any bar in Rio de Janiero, urinate on the crowd and absolutely nothing will happen to him. He’s a demigod, and we witnessed his celestial evolution tonight at UFC 142. Set aside the knee that knocked out Mendes with one second left in the first round. After the win, Jose Aldo literally flew out of the cage and rushed the crowd in absolute ecstasy. We will never know the adrenaline that was running through Aldo’s body for him to leave security and jump into a random crowd of drunk MMA fans at 3:30 am. Jose Aldo gave the finger to the English lexicon tonight and redefined what ‘Beast Mode’ truly means.

What’s next for Jose Aldo? Last year he mentioned that he would ‘have no problem’ moving up to the lightweight division. Correction Jose, there would be no problem for people not in the lightweight division. For guys like us, Jose Aldo is correct. For every other 155 lber out there, Jose’s right knee may temporarily interrupt their consciousness. Congratulations goes out to Jose Aldo on another finely polished win in the UFC. Props to Zombie Prophet on the .gif, which is after the jump.

Published on January 15, 2012 at 5:09 am
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