Jon Bones Jones uses a guillotine to tell Lyoto Machida’s neck a bedtime story

We just have to comprehend that we live in a world in which no one will defeat Jon Bones Jones at light heavyweight for the remainder of his career.

Congrats Affliction. Now all of those grungy angel wings finally mean something. Hopefully we’ll be able to buy a limited edition Jon Bones Jones signature ‘Jesus riding on the back of a dinosaur‘ shirt in the near future. If you thought God wasn’t a Jon Bones Jones fan, then you are rudely mistaken.

It’s confirmed, God friggin’ loves Jon Bones Jones. I’m convinced noble creator. I will go to church on Sunday morning. There is a God, and I personally want to apologize for everything I’ve ever said about my ex-girlfriend. I didn’t mean it — really I didn’t.

Tonight, our television served as portals for the future of the UFC light heavyweight division. We all time traveled, and we safely arrived back on our sofas unharmed. Bones Jones is an MMA deity. That brief moment in the first round when you had the glimpse of a feeling that Lyoto Machida may defeat Jon Jones is all you’re going to get. That is the closest that anyone has ever come to placing Bones Jones in danger. In the second round, Bones extended his wings and exuded holiness by smiting Lyoto Machida with vicious elbows which provided ventilation for Machida’s skull. Lyoto managed to stand up only to be robbed of his consciousness by a ridiculous standing guillotine mixed with a slight neck crank.

That’s it. Conclusion concluded. Jon Jones is untouchable. Now go to church every Sunday and even you may have one of these sitting in your driveway.

Published on December 11, 2011 at 4:07 am
Stay up-to-date with the latest MMA news, rumors, and updates by following the RED Monster on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram. Also, don't forget to add MiddleEasy to your Google News feed Follow us on Google News for even more coverage.


Leave a Comment