It’s confirmed, God friggin’ loves Jon Bones Jones. I’m convinced noble creator. I will go to church on Sunday morning. Jon Bones Jones was destined to win the UFC Light Heavyweight belt. There is a God, and I personally want to apologize for everything I’ve ever said about my ex-girlfriend. I didn’t mean it — really I didn’t.
Tonight, our television served as portals for the future of the UFC. We all time traveled, and we safely arrived back on our sofas unharmed. Bones Jones is a superhero. The guy just stopped a thief in the streets on New York earlier today like some mild-mannered Marvel personality we’ve all grown up with. I don’t think I’ve seen such unpredictable ground-and-pound on an MMA broadcast, ever. The pixels in my television were confused. They were lost, like some insane 8-bit color spectrum that only exists on a television screen.
Immediately after the fight we witnessed the highly uncomfortable staredown between Rashad Evans and Jon Bones Jones. Prior to UFC 128, both fighters insisted they would never fight as evidenced by Rashad Evans giving his title shot to Jon Bones Jones. Gym beef occurred, rumors swirled that Evans left Greg Jackson due to Jackson making a statement that he would force Bones and Evans to fight. Within days, a photo of Rashad Evans surfaced with some former members of American Top Team (I know one of you guys can post it in the comment section). Tonight, we know how Bones’ relationship is with Evans, and if you go frame-by-frame on your DVR, you can pinpoint when Rashad’s eyes completely lit up with fury.
Congratulations from the MiddleEasy crew on Jon Bones being the new UFC Light Heavyweight champion.