Johny Hendricks’ fist should be studied by Lockheed Martin. Defense contractors need to stop wasting their money on senseless research studies regarding the effectiveness of the common assault rifle. Hendricks figured it out already and he harnessed every single ballistic technology that he could directly in both of his fists. We’re sure an animated .gif will surface tonight, but whatever incredible imagery you have in your head from Hendrick’s first round knockout out Martin Kampmann is exactly what happened.
Last night after the UFC 154 weigh-ins, I saw Martin Kampmann along with Ray Sefo eating in a Vegan restaurant somewhere in downtown Montreal. I didn’t want to bother him and his flax seed, organic tacos so I creepily sat at a distance and watched him eat. There’s nothing wrong with that, folks. It’s perfectly fine to watch another men grub down on his dinner.
Unfortunately vegan tacos will not reduce your chances of getting knocked out in the first round by an incredible straight. I’ll keep that in mind whenever I’m locked inside the cage with another human being — which (hopefully) will be never.
