James Toney promises he will submit Randy Couture

James Toney is a walking infomercial for why you should try your best to earn at least a B+ in high school English. It’s amazing that James Toney and I share the same ‘country of origin’ on our passports and supposedly speak the same language. The only words I understand that come out of his mouth are “You know what I’m sayin?” and that’s a pretty rhetorical question considering it’s coming from a man with a 72-6-3 professional boxing record. Thankfully, “Lights Out” hired a hype man to stand behind him in his Youtube shout-outs and say “Look out!” and “That’s Right!” so he doesn’t have to keep repeating “You know what I’m sayin’?” Regardless of how effective this new assistant will turn out to be, whenever James Toney speaks, most people will continue to smile, nod and then ask their kids to translate it later. Don’t worry about the expletives, your kids probably already follow Dana White on Twitter.

It’s becoming a rare occurrence, but there still a few journalists that know nothing about MMA. It’s becoming even stranger when athletes who are about to compete in MMA against a legend like Randy Couture know nothing about it. James Toney is certainly a unique man, and now he’s convinced he’ll choke out Randy Couture. This is the same James Toney that urinated on your ground game just a few months ago… Check out this transcript from a video where James Toney promises a win over Randy Couture by submission:

[Randy] is legendary in THEIR sport – kickboxing, karate, whatever. I’m a legend period. I’m an ICON. He’s not on my level. I told Dana White that the only way I’d do this if I fight your best. I wanted Brock Lesnar first, but I wasn’t aware that he was hurt. I hope he gets well. Then, I was talking about Randy Couture to Dana White [at UFC 108], and Chuck Liddell was sitting next to him. Chuck Liddell looked uneasy and unhappy. I told Chuck, ‘I ain’t gonna fight you here; I’m gonna get paid for it. I wanna fight you in the ring.’ The next thing you know I’m hearing everybody say that Couture called me out. He’s a big man and I respect him. So now he’s gonna step up and he’s gonna get done. Don’t get me wrong, Randy Couture is a great fighter for this sport. But he comes in and he gonna do this to James Toney? Come on, man. I’ve been in the ring with the best fighters in the world, period. I’m the best fighter you’ve ever seen in your life. I’m telling you right now. Randy, look into my eyes. You know there is no fear here. You come in with that wrestling, dirty boxing, I promise you, I’m gonna choke your ass out.

Although James Toney sounds very convincing, please keep in mind that James Toney is currently learning these lethal submission skills by training with Juanito Ibarra, who’s an amazing boxing coach credited with some of Oscar De La Hoya’s success. To break that down, that’s like getting your tacos from an ice cream truck or doing your grocery shopping at the car wash. If that somehow makes sense to you, I’d run to your bookie while the oddsmakers have “Lights-Out” as the +475 underdog. [Source]

Published on June 3, 2010 at 6:10 pm
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