I know this guy and, for the sake of reducing the level of embarrassment he’s drowning in, I’ll call him Aquaman. Just a side-note: If you ever find yourself in a battle with Aquaman, drive him to some desert in Tucson, kick him in the shin and just leave him there. Instant victory. Aquaman and that Captain Planet kid with the heart ring have the two most useless superpowers in history. They should team up and be called ‘The ambiguously miscellaneous duo’. Aquaman could summon a fish and the guy with the heart ring can have a conversation with it. Friggin awesome. They should work at a seafood restaurant. “Thank you Aquaman for the red salmon, now can you ask that fish how it wants to be seasoned? If it said ‘with lemon and pepper’ then it is correct”.
So a few months ago my friend, ‘Aquaman’, got into one of those drunken late night weekend arguments with his girlfriend (something we can all relate to). He’s one of those dudes that has to get the last word in so when everything was dying down, Aquaman said ‘Why can’t you be like Miesha Tate?‘. She looked back and said ‘Who the [expletive] is Miesha Tate?’ (she really didn’t say ‘expletive’, she probably doesn’t even know what that means).
Miesha Tate is the reason why your girlfriend looks at your Firefox browser history when you’re asleep at night. We caught up with Miesha Tate to ask her about her beef with Tara LaRosa (perhaps it’s the other way around) and she informed us that the only way to come to speaking terms is to get in the cage and work it out. See, fighting really does solve all problems.