Bob Sapp can sell a six-pack of Red Bull to a colony of mitochondria. The guy can sell ocean-side real estate on the equator of Mars. In Japan, he’s a marketing demigod that deserves his own shrine some where in Osaka and judging by this promo of Sapp’s upcoming bout at CFC 21 against Soa Palalei, he plans to extend his advertising prowess to the Land Down Under. The real question is: the land down under of what? Why is it under anything and why is the entire country complacent with being submerged in some gargantuan, mysterious object? That was never explained when I was in geography class, and it’s one of the scariest things one could ever contemplate. What if Australia is really located down under a colossal water elemental and at the end of 2012, we’re all going to feel the wrath of this beast. That’s something I can’t live with, man.
Damn, I’m drowning in a sea of paranoia. I can’t live out my morning like this. Quick, someone find that video of the cat playing the piano. Ah, there it is. Now from one ridiculous video to another, watch this clip of Bob Sapp cutting a promo for his CFC 21 fight in Australia.