If you’re a Ronda Rousey hater, she wants you to ‘grow some balls’ and tell her face-to-face

Infinity is a large number. Whatever number you have in your mind — infinity is more. On a long enough time scale and with enough resources available to her, Ronda Rousey will rip the arm off of every human being on this planet. She won’t discriminate on race, socio-economic conditions, or religion. Hell, Ronda doesn’t even care what age you are — your arm will eventually belong to her. The only way you can not have arms in the future is to already not have arms in the present. In a massive universe with an infinite number of possibilities, Ronda Rousey will knock on your door tonight and inform you that you can either give up your arm the easy way, or the hard way. Even the easy way is the hard way in this scenario. Basically, if that occurred your days of looking at your wristwatch are over. No one would have an iPhone in this hypothetical future because it would be impossible to operate the device without arms. Apples stock would decline, along with every other company that produces smart phones. Pencils would be nonexistent. In this future, feet will be the new hands. Socks will be the new gloves — and then Rousimar Palhares will eventually rip those appendages off too.

I could write an entire novel about this, but unfortunately my overweight, burly neighbors are having loud man-on-man loving, and I need to go to bed to erase the memory. Watch this video in the meantime.

Published on August 22, 2012 at 4:39 am
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