If you’re a newb fighter, Dan Hardy will teach you how to knee properly

Don’t worry about it. I know it’s stressful, being a beginner and all. Stepping into a smelly, humid gym where one of your favorite UFC stars is hopping gently in the corner, warming up and chatting with students isn’t easy. But it’s okay, Dan Hardy is a gentleman that will teach you how to properly knee another humanoid in or around the xiphoid process and will make you feel good about your learning process. 

Maybe one day, you’ll knee someone in or around the xiphoid process and stand tall in victory. You’ll think to yourself, “Wow, if not for Dan Hardy showing me how to do that in a gentle and soothing, way, I wouldn’t be standing here right now, thinking about all of this in my head as I stand over my opponent. Maybe I should walk away now. Thanks, Dan Hardy!”

And then thousands of miles away, Dan will receive your telepathic message, smirk and then continue reading the newspaper as the fireplace roars and a fine piece of tobacco roasts in the brass tray he received from a Shaman in the Himalayas, while trying to send his consciousness into orbit.

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