I was on the internet last night and felt a sudden urge to see what the hell happened with Captain Kangroo. Apparently, he wasn’t a captain after all — which makes me believe he wasn’t a kangaroo at all. He resides in the same category as Cap n’ Crunch. He’s not a real captain also. My childhood is filled with lies, and cavities. It’s also filled with an innumerable supply of quarters being inserted into the front of Street Fighter 2 arcade machines. I’m not sure if these young kids today realize that back in the day, your Street Fighter 2 skills served as an accurate measurement for how much of a bad ass you were amongst your peers. That was just an existential fact.
Kenny Florian knew this, and that’s why he got handy with the joystick of a Street Fighter 2 arcade as often as possible. Ken-Flo also walked out to Wu-Tang Clan on a number of occasions, which automatically makes his musical taste higher than 90% of everyone in the world. If we didn’t like Kenny Florian, we wouldn’t have photoshopped his head on the body of a hot chick in our old MiddleEasy background. Earlier today, it all came to an end when Kenny Florian officially retired from the sport we all love. We were on location for the historic moment so if you missed the speech, we have it right here for you on MiddleEasy. Enjoy and thanks for all the rawesome times, Ken-Flolicious.