I’ve been trying to warn you, but September is an exciting month for sports fighting. Let me be clearer, it is a fantastic month for fighting other people with arguably similar skill levels in sanctioned events. It is a TERRIBLE month for sports-related punching in quite a few other cases. Now that that issue is solved and at the risk of being the guy who is always just a bit too casually optimistic and agreeable, I kinda like MMA right now.
There are spinning backfists, title fights, Shlemenko, ridiculous publicity stunts which, honestly, are as fascinating and they are embarrassing, major upsets (have you ever been so dead wrong but had all your dreams come true in the same moment?), and so much dancing. Expert alert, I’m a person who already had opinions about MMA back in 2005, so for me, when I get Arlovski knocking out a top-ten heavyweight and Mark Hunt fighting in the Saitama Super Arena in back-to-back weeks, I forget to go to work for 5 days. Granted, a UFC event in the Saitama Super Arena feels bizarre (like playing Halo on a Playstation) but not exactly wrong (like doing it with your mailman’s wife). Mostly, I now just miss Crazy Pride Lady.
If there wasn’t an insanely relevant event at the end of the month featuring plenty of young, upcoming, and exciting UFC stars, I’d feel a bit differently about spending week after week watching 35+ year olds fight but, fortunately, I can appreciate (tonight’s? tomorrow’s? yesterday’s?) Hunt vs. Big Country bout for what it is doubtlessly going to be: two awesome fat dudes fueled only by warrior spirit and subcutaneous grease stores running headfirst into a brick wall of cardiovascular endurance immediately followed by a brain-trauma-tolerance contest. There’s no relevance here; it’s pure entertainment. Even though these guys’ records do less for MMA math than dark matter does for physics, they have smaller chances of survival against top 5 opponents than child swingsets do in their backyards. But who cares? It’s the perfect way to give your circadian rhythm the middle finger it deserves.
Do you like fun? If so, and you need help staying awake until ~2am on Saturday, first, stop lying you’re already going to be up playing Destiny and, second, I suggest you kill time by watching Hunt and Crocop kick each other until your shins hurt: