If you had to sum up Glover Teixeira’s performance in just a paragraph, you’d need to reach deep into the Urban Dictionary and none of the slang I’d use would make any sense. One line after the next would be utterly meaningless. Then again, so is the diction we utilize on a daily basis. There isn’t enough Adderall in the northern hemisphere to make us write coherent articles.
All I’m going to say is that the fight was everything I hoped it would be, and ultimately Glover Teixeira did exactly what you knew he could with his fists to set up a unanimous decision over Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson. Unfortunately, Rampage has said that this will be his last appearance in the octagon, but if we’re lucky, we might get to see him fight Kimbo Slice and a whole bunch of other heavy handed brawlers in the boxing ranks. One way or the other, it’s not goodbye forever, just “see you when I see you.”
All we know for sure is that somewhere in Chicago, Chuck Liddell is buying Glover Teixeira the adult beverage of his choice, and that’s the best imaginary afterparty in the murder capital of America right now. In the meantime, let’s toast our very own homemade Acai martinis and bask in Glover Teixeira’s victory like we’re right there with them. It’s clear a new star at 205lbs is hunting for Jon Jones’ title, he’s doing it with reckless abandon, and that’s something worth celebrating.