FOX’s Slow and Hot with Brittney Palmer is pretty embarrassing

I’m not your typical burn-my-bra feminist, mostly because I don’t wear a bra but I’m all for females having the same rights as males because I’m not an asshole. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always been in favor of women competing in MMA, and against ring girls. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that the whole notion of ring girls (without the addition of ring men) is leeringly creepy at best and essentially crass objectification dressed up as a classy addition to a bloody spectacle at worst — and this is coming from a lover of beautiful women and all forms of fighting.

With that in mind, FOX has released a new show, “Slow and Hot with Brittney Palmer” in which Brittney Palmer gets slow and hot (?) with different sports. Episode 1 sees her capture some “crazy skating moves” with the FOX Sports Phantom Cam which makes it sound really cool, but in reality it’s as cutting edge as “Colin’s Sleazy Friends.” My friend had the “Best of Colin’s Sleazy Friends” DVD and there was an extra scene where viewers were treated to footage of the Deftones receiving sexual favours from what I assume were strippers. It was the worst porn scene you’ve ever seen in your life, with the added bonus of Chino’s face popping up occasionally.

“Slow and Hot with Brittney Palmer” seems to involve putting an attractive young woman in front of a slow motion camera while things happen in the background. If you’ve read this and somehow come away thinking that this show sounds awesome then you will be disappointed to learn that each episode is less than two minutes long. I think that’s stretched out around two minutes too long, but judge for yourself by watching it below.

From this I learned that FOX Sport believe you slavishly follow the UFC brand around like a Pavlovian alpha male, you will watch a show with a UFC ring girl (sorry Octagon Girl) simply because it has a provocative and suggestively sexy name. I also learned that “Audience Development Manager” is a real job title. Who knew?

Published on January 9, 2014 at 6:00 pm
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