Exclusive interview with War Machine

War Machine. Not that War Machine, but this War Machine. The War Machine formally known as Jonathan Koppenhaver. You may remember seeing him on The Ultimate Fighter: Team Hughes vs. Team Serra in which he depressed half of America by telling a story of how when he was 14, War Machine tried to give CPR to his dad, was unsuccessful, and pretty much watched his father die. After getting cut from the show due to a somewhat controversial decision, War Machine went on to sign a 10-fight contract with the UFC. After getting offered names like Brandon Wolff, Mr.Machine (we’re serious, that’s his legal last name) told Joe Silva that he needed better competition and he wasn’t going to fight until he could bang against the big namers. After War Machine’s blog post in which he wished someone would place a bullet between Barack Obama’s head things started to get pretty hectic. He was dropped from the UFC and was somehow cut from Bellator before the dude even fought. War Machine also said that he doesn’t like to be around too many humans. Dude is a true renaissance man and recently he’s ventured over to the world of adult entertainment, something that you’re probably familiar with. Check out our exclusive interview with War Machine conducted by D**k Grayson, only at MiddleEasy.com – Because MMA is everything.

What type of kid were you?I’ve always been kind of a wild man. I would always have good grades but I would always get in fights, always rowdy you know what I mean? I was always kind of a leader.

You were always kind of a leader?Yeah, I was always kind of a leader. Teachers always liked me because I got good grades, the principal would want to expel me and the teachers would have my back because I had all As and Bs so they would be like ‘Oh, he’s a good student’. I was only a trouble maker out of the classroom.

So now, when you go out with your friends what type of person are you?When I go out all I want to do is get drunk and find some chicks, you know what I mean? That’s all I care about. I’m always easy going but my problem always happens when all the other retards out there act stupid. Once I’m pushed over the limit and I’m passed the point of no return, I kind of snap and it’s a wrap. I’m cool…as long as nothing happens. I try not to go out too much because of that.

Where do you train?I train at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas. Right now I’m not training because the last couple of weeks I’ve been doing other things. I’ve been concentrating on the porn career. But whenever I get a fight lined up, I’ll be back at Xtreme Couture.

Shogun and Machida, who won?Machida won but on the same token it was a decision so you’re at the mercy of the judges. I guess one angle to look at it is Machida is the champion and to win the belt you really got to beat the champion. On the fight card I think Shogun won but maybe it just wasn’t enough to take the belt. I don’t know how they have it with the judges. Whatever man, I think everyone thinks that Shogun did the better performance but Machida was the champ.

BJ Penn vs. Diego Sanchez. Who takes it?I think BJ Penn is the most talented fighter in the world. Everyone knows that BJ Penn’s only flaw is that he’s so talented that he doesn’t train as hard as he should but for the most part he gets away with it. I think it will be a tough fight. I think BJ will win but you can’t count out Diego, he’s a workhorse. He’s going to come in shape for sure and he’s always game and ready to fight. It’s a good fight but I think BJ will pull it off. I think BJ is pretty much invincible.

Vera vs. Couture?Ah man, I wish that fight wasn’t happening. I just don’t want Brandon Vera to win and I think…he’s probably going to win. Randy Couture is a beast, he’s a legend, he’s a great guy and he’s kind of one of my coaches. He’s 47, 48 years old…he’s at the end of his road. Brandon Vera is just climing up to the top. Brandon Vera is fresh and hungry. Brandon is good man, he has a lot of skills. I think, man I want Randy to win so bad but I have a bad feeling Brandon is going to win.

Do you think they should split the heavyweight division in two?Yeah, definitely. Because think about it man, Brock Lesnar is doo doo. I don’t care what anyone says, he sucks. Brock Lesnar, all he is is a big strong gay wrestler. Think about it, he’s probably about 275-285 and he was fighting Randy Couture who was 220. So what is that, 55 pounds? Alright so if I’m 170 minus 55 pounds, what’s that 125? I don’t care how good you are, if you weigh 125lbs you’re not going to beat me. The best 125lb in the world, what is he going to do to me? He’s too small. So that’s what’s happening. You got a 125lber vs. a 170lber and it’s just not fair and that’s the same exact thing in the heavyweight division. So Brock Lesnar sucks. He sucks. He’s only good at wrestling. He’s so much bigger and stronger than everyone…he’s just a bully. He’s not good and I think if that fight would have went a little longer, Couture would have won. All he [Brock Lesnar] is, is a big gay bully. He fights little tiny guys, wow. He weighs 50lbs more and just beats them up. Brock Lesnar sucks.

Vitor Belfort vs. Anderson Silva?Man, Vitor is the man dude. I think if he comes out with the right game plan he will win. Guaranteed. I personally told him that I think he should take Anderson Silva down. Because with Anderson Silva, his weak point is wrestling. On the ground, they’re both black belts but Vitor is a superior black belt. I told Vitor he should stand on his feet for the first half of the round, and the second half of the round just shoot and take him down and win the round that way. Each round, because when Vitor gets him down he will wreck him. I’m going with Vitor, I think he’s going to pull it off but if he chooses to stand and bang the entire fight I think he will lose because Anderson…he’s a frickin ninja on his feet.

Last two, Fedor vs. Brett Rogers?I think Fedor is going to smash him. Heavyweight is the worst division, one punch can be a night-ender. Brett Rogers has the puncher’s chance but he’s still new to the sport and Fedor is the man. So I think Brett will be a little intimidated, I think Fedor will win man. Fedor will win.

Last one, Carwin vs. Lesnar?Lesnar is going to go in there, all big and gay. Take him down, lay on him and do nothing. That’s what’s going to happen. I hope Carwin can land a lucky punch, but I doubt it man. I don’t think Carwin has the tools.

Top three TUF fighters in any season.Definitely Diego Sanchez. I’m thinking Josh Koscheck and Kenny Florian.

When’s your next fight?My next fight is up in the air, maybe January…but nothing is signed yet so I’m not sure.

Gina vs. Cyborg, what did you think of that fight?Gina is a good friend of mine. I’ve known her for years and I was there when she was training for the fight. Gina is a woman. Gina is a girl. She’s tough, she’s a good fighter…she’s a girl. Cyborg is not a girl. Cyborg takes steroids, I don’t care what anyone else says. You don’t get built that way, you don’t look that way if you’re a female and drug free. She takes testosterone, she’s a boy. So I don’t care how good Gina is, she’s fighting a boy and a boy is going to beat up a girl.

I think Gina was intimidated by the fight. She was going to fight a guy, I think Cyborg got into her head and I think she lost the fight before she got into the cage. But Gina is great and she’ll be back.

Best female MMA fighterDrug free? Gina. With drugs, Cyborg for sure. Cyborg is a beast.

You think women should have five or three minute rounds?I think women should have five-minute rounds. I don’t think it’s fair for females because they’re athletes too and they’re training and I think we’re degrading them by making them fight three-minute rounds. There’s no reason why females can’t have the same amount of cardio as males. To fight other girls, there’s no reason why the rounds should be different. I think it should be five-minute rounds for sure.

What does women’s MMA have to do to continue it’s progression?I know the UFC is against women’s MMA and UFC is the biggest platform for MMA so I think as long as UFC and WEC is out of the mix, it won’t become mainstream. The only way to progress it further is to keep on bringing beautiful girls in there like Gina and maybe even some celebrity girls. It’s really tough man, but if the UFC and WEC never step up it’s never going to happen.

What’s your priority, porn or MMA?My priority right now is to make good money and feed the War Machine. I’ve been fighting for seven years and MMA, I make a living but I don’t make enough money to save. I’m never going to be able to have enough to buy a house or buy a cool car. Right now, my main priority is making money. I want to do my best in the porn industry and I want to try to be one of the top, top porn guys, you know what I mean? So right now, porn is more important than MMA at the moment. I love to fight and I’m always going to fight, regardless of what happens.

What was your general experience going into the porn industry?I was nervous as hell. More nervous than any other fight I’ve ever had. So nervous…terrified. It’s no joke. It was crazy. Luckily when I got to the set, the crew were super cool they were MMA fans. The girl that I shot my first scene with, Riley Steele, she was really pretty and she was really nice. She made me feel comfortable. Porn is like fighting, you’re always ready before but once you get punched…you’re fine. When I touched her, I felt way better but until I made contact I felt nervous as hell.

I thought you were going to say the minute she punched you, you were good.Before the scene, I really didn’t know what to do. I thought ‘should I shadowbox?’

What are your top three adult film actresses?I don’t know man but my first scene was with Riley Steele, so she’s my favorite now. She’s hot dude. But I’ve only had two so far…oh, you know what my favorite one was? That girl Naomi with the big butt, man I love her but she’s not in the business now of course and that girl Julia Bottoms with the big butt. I like big butts. I like butts.

Similarities in being in porn and MMA?Fighting and porn is so similar. Everything from like, I got the agent. I got Ken Pavia from MMAagents and Derek from Alex Drake models. They find me the fight, they find me the girls. You got organizations like UFC and WEC then you got the organizations like Digital Playground, it could be Vivid, Wicked, whatever. So in MMA I fight around, in porn…I hump around. Then you got the pre-fight jitters, same as being on the set. Performance anxiety…dude, it’s very similar. I think fighting has helped me prepare for it. The producer was telling me ‘Dude, I’ll tell you right now you’re going to fail. The first time everyone fails. Sometimes the first two or three times they all fail’. But I was able to succeed and I think it’s mostly because my fighting stance really helps me…plus my whoring experience. I’ve been around and around and around. It’s similar man, it’s very similar.

How would Riley Steele do in Women’s MMA?Ah man, she’s better as a ring girl…but I will protect her.

So where does your loyalty lie? Porn or MMA?In the porn, the money is very lucrative. I think from now on I’ll be focusing on the porn. I’m still going to fight because that’s my passion. I love to fight and I realized that I’ve probably blew my chances of ever going back to the UFC. But I can still main event all medium sized shows all across the country and the world. But I’m still going to fight, two or three times a year. That’s what I love to do, I love beating people up, I want to fight, I want to train, I want to get better. I’m still going to be training.

How much of what you’ve said in the past is truly how you feel or just for shock value?For the most part, 99% of what I say is true, that’s how I think. I’m outspoken. I talk and I don’t care what anyone thinks. Once in a while I throw in some extra stuff just to be a retard and piss people off. Just like when I got in trouble for my Obama comments. I decided to piss people off, I knew that I was going to look like a d**k. But for the most part, what I say is true man.

What’s your thoughts on the state of MMA?MMA is huge man, it’s one of the biggest things but I think UFC has a monopoly. With the MLB, the talent gets around 40-45% of the profit the organization makes. In the UFC, something ridiculous like 8% of the profit goes to the talent. They’re raping the fighters. The UFC is raping the fighters, they treat them like crap. I just heard another thing too, the new UFC contracts you can never say that you’re a UFC veteran so one day if you open up your own gym you can’t say that you’re a UFC veteran. That’s stupid, why not? The one thing fighters want to do when they’re done fighting is open up a gym. Now the UFC is going to take that away from them? The UFC is going to open up gyms all across the country so now if you’re from a small town and want to open up your own gym to make a living and if the UFC opens up their own gym and puts you out of business…you know what I mean? They’re pieces of [expletive]. They have a monopoly and they do this because they can. No one else can defeat them, so what are you going to do? They’re the only platform that matters.

What’s the nerdiest thing you’re into?I don’t have nerdy things but I have a lot of gay things I’m into. I’m an environmentalist. I got a hybrid car. People think it’s gay, but I don’t think it’s gay. I pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs. I do a lot of gay stuff, I don’t do any nerdy things though.

If you had a choice to be a vampire of a werewolf, which one would you be?Vampire. Vampire, dude. I always wanted to be a vampire. Every time I watch a movie, I always want to be a vampire. I would love to be a vampire. Vampires are the best.

Which superpower would you rather have: teleportation, flying or reading minds?Hmm. Probably to read minds. Yeah, for sure.

You were in the citadel in Charleston, SC. What’s the dopest thing to do out there?Unfortunately when I was in the citadel I was always the trouble maker. I was always grounded so the entire time I was there, I could hardly ever leave the citadel.

Think there’s a connection between the Illuminati and the US President?It wouldn’t surprise me. Dude, I’m an anarchist bro. I hate the government. I hate them. I don’t trust any of them. I definitely think the government is shady as hell. I know there’s a lot of stories about the Illuminati and masons, dude I don’t know what to believe. It wouldn’t surprise me, nothing would surprise me.

What’s your health insurance like?I have health insurance but I buy it myself. But one of the biggest reasons why I stopped fighting and I’m doing porn is because normally if I get injured or something happens I’m screwed. 6 months I won’t have money. That’s a big problem with MMA and one of the reasons why I started to do porn. I need money in the bank. When you live to fight and fight to live from paycheck to paycheck and I get hurt then I’m screwed. Biggest reason why I’m doing porn is I need money in the bank to take care of myself.

A year from now, what’s your ideal situation?Ideally, maybe three more wins on my record and an AVN award for Best Up-and-Comer. Rookie of the year.

Chun Li, She-Hulk, Wonder-Woman. F/Marry/Kill?I think I’ll…I’ll marry Chun Li because Asian girls are submissive and have good genes for breeding. I’ll have an affair with Wonder Woman because she probably has too much attitude, she’s probably too independent I would want to slap her so I’ll just have an affair with her. I’ll throw She-Hulk off a cliff. I don’t like big, strong chicks.

Any shout-outs?I would like to thank my agents, Ken Pavia at MMAagents for helping me get my fights and my sponsors and stuff. Derek at Alex Drake Models just for helping me get my porn scenes. That’s it man.
Published on November 3, 2009 at 8:31 am
Stay up-to-date with the latest MMA news, rumors, and updates by following the RED Monster on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram. Also, don't forget to add MiddleEasy to your Google News feed Follow us on Google News for even more coverage.


Leave a Comment