Ubereem and Brett Rogers will be making an appearance on ESPN MMA Live on ESPN 2 tonight at 10pm PT/1am ET and chances are if you don’t have a widescreen television, there’s no way both of those dudes can fit on your screen. In fact, that’s probably why the term ‘widescreen’ was invented in the first place. If at some point in the day you decided to purchase a 3D television don’t be surprised if Ubereem’s deltoids break your coffee table tonight. Actually, that’s silly. There’s no way a projected image will have any impact on the real world. Sorry for giving you guys the illusion that 3D televisions actually work. In fact, things won’t start to get real until someone out there makes a fourth dimensional television in which you will be able to see the progression of time illustrated in some weird elongated tube similar to that scene in Donnie Darko.
When television hits 5D, we will be able to see every possible outcome of each fighter. For example, if we were to Strikeforce Heavy Artillery in 5D, we would be able to see Overeem defeating Rogers and Rogers defeating Overeem simultaneously. In 6th dimensional television, if a fighter is not happy with the outcome of a fight they will technically be able to fold the 5th dimension into the 6th and ‘go back in time’ to change his/her actions in the fight to yield a different result. If we all live long enough to witness the emergence of the 7D-TV, it would treat each fight as a single point in space. This point would represent the beginning of the fight and all it’s possible outcomes. Essentially, it would be called ‘the point of infinity’ which would be all possible timelines that could have or would have occurred from the start of the fight.
I can go on all the way to the tenth dimension (that’s when it starts to get weird) but instead, I’ll just send out a friendly reminder to everyone that you don’t want to miss Alistair Overeem and Brett Rogers on ESPN MMA Live tonight at 10pm PT/1am ET on ESPN 2. Be there or forever be shunned in the third-dimension.
