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Don’t taze me bro! I mean…Rampage!

Don’t taze me bro! I mean…Rampage!

On the eve of my 22nd birthday I was given a 50,000 volt tazer from my friend Edmund. To this day I consider it one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten and countless memories were created with that little black beauty. If it weren’t for the tazer, this oft viewed video of my old roommate OB wearing a fake mustache and stating “Mike Singletary” before getting blasted to the ground with five quadruple zero volts wouldn’t exist. If it weren’t for that tazer, I never would have won the 2005 fantasy football championship or met my wife. Good times with that tazer…good times. In 2007 it fizzled out during an impromptu game of ‘tag’, so I solemnly buried it at the foot of it’s favorite tree next to Ol Dan and Little Ann. Flowers grow there now.

My tazer was never brandished without love, and Rampage Jackson’s friends understand this concept and carry it out in it’s fullest form on video for us to enjoy.

Part 2

Stay tazey my friends.

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