Don Frye tells us Hendo has no chance against Bones Jones, goes off on Chael Sonnen, and gives us life advice

You never really know what to expect when you interview Don Frye, you kind of lob your questions like a grenade over your shoulder then grab your helmet as debris from The Predator’s explosive words rain down upon your head. It’s OK though, talking to Don Frye is worth taking a piece of shrapnel in the butt. Today I was tasked with talking to Don Frye about his new Round 5 special edition action figure, instead, I learned the age Don Frye started masturbating. Sometimes these things happen in MMA interviews.

Enjoy Don The Predator Frye completely uncensored and hiding from his Sunday chores in this interview (for added effect read it in Don Frye’s voice).

Did you see the fights last night? Yeah, yeah I did. Joe Silva does a hell of a job matchmaking, that’s where it all is right there. He deserves all the credit in the world.


Do you think Dan Henderson can beat Jon Jones? He doesn’t have a fucking chance.


Does anyone? Don Frye if he got off his lazy ass. I said this about a year ago about the same question. He’s gonna run the gamut in the light heavyweight division until he goes to the heavyweight division. He’s six four and twenty three years old so he can only stay at 205 for so long, so then age and gravity will kick in and he just won’t be able to stay there. So until he moves up to heavy and has a hell of a fight against Junior Dos Santos no one will touch him. Dos Santos is going to run the heavyweight division until Jones gets there. No one can challenge Dos Santos just like no one can challenge Bones at light heavyweight.


As a fan do you enjoy the dominant champions in a division or do you like the divisions where the belt changes hands often? Like a bar of soap and no one can hang onto it haha! You know what? It’s six and one half dozen, it’s like when Tyson was coming up, he just destroyed everyone. Just destroyed em. So everyone was all excited about Tyson at first then they got pissed off about it saying ‘whaa whaa I didn’t get my money’s worth’. He was awesome, he destroyed everyone then they complain about that and how he didn’t have a challenge, but then when he did have a challenge he was washed up you know? Everyone is an armchair quarterback but no one has the balls to get in the ring and fight. Then you have these idiots that say, well for a million dollars I’d fight Mike Tyson…No, no you wouldn’t fight Mike Tyson, he would kill you. It wouldn’t be a fight. There’s a big difference between fighting Mike Tyson and getting killed by him. That’s the thing with Jon Jones, he’s a superior athlete. Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, Junior Dos Santos and GSP. These guys are so head and tails above everyone else in their division.


Do you keep up with MMA, it seems like your finger is on the pulse. Of course, if you’re a great athlete, yeah. Even the girls, what’s her name?


Ronda Rousey. Yeah! Ronda Rousey, dang phenomenal and my old sensei helped train her when she was a little girl, but you won’t hear that. That’s the thing about this game how quickly we forget. Who’s that asshole, what’s his name? Dominick Cruz. The guy is full of bullshit and is a lying turd. He says he learned how to fight in his garage? Bullshit. My guy Rocko taught him and then he went off by himself, that guy is a lying scumbag. Rocko trained for a couple years with this asshole, and he says something like that? I have no use for him. But I’m a fan of Urijah Faber, so I hope Urijah kills him the next time they fight.


That should be the conclusion to a good trilogy. Yeah, they are both good fighters, Dominick is an asshole but he’s a good fighter. And in order to be a top fighter you’ve gotta be an asshole. At least be an honest asshole, give credit where credit is due.


Is that a metaphor for life? Do you have to be an asshole to get to the top? Sure, but be an honest asshole. You understand?


Believe me I do. Haha! I hear that partner, I bet you’ve seen it all in this sport. This whole deal is a microcosm of life and if you survive this sport and this game you will survive life.


What are your thoughts on the PED crackdown in MMA right now? The whole friggin’ world is falling apart, and there is more shit going on than some athletes taking drugs. Ten years ago, a decade ago they figured 80% of currency had traces of cocaine on it. Look at the arrest records of the people in congress and the senators and so on. It’s disgusting, and yet every time the administration or whoever is going to rob the people blind, they come up with a sports hero guilty of drugs. Like ‘look at my right hand while I pick your pocket with my left’. There is a lot more shit going on in this planet than an athlete taking drugs. And if they do take the drugs it just puts more currency into the gross national product. I don’t mean to be an asshole but look at the big picture, look at the economy, the security of the nation and everything else going instead of worrying about a guy taking drugs. It’s stupid, it gives me a headache.


A few years ago Jeff Monson said all steroids and PED’s should be legal. What do you think about that theory? Do you agree? Yeah you know, I do. My wife called me a hypocrite last year, but I said ‘Yeah, I am, oh well’. She asked if I was fine with being a hypocrite and I said shit yeah. Jeff Monson has a point. Everything should be legal to someone who generates income. Athletes generate income and happiness for the people. The athletes distort the view of what is actually going on in the world. So politicians should legalize everything and then the dumb masses can continue to be ignorant about what’s really going on.


During our conversation I was able to text someone from the site that is with Ronda Rousey right this second, and she says she loves you and your mustache. Ha! Tell her thank you, I would make a smart ass comment but I’m afraid she’d break my arm. I’d enjoy it if she did it though…


Has the mustache gotten you a lot of ladies over the years? Oh yeah, yeah. You know what? I get in the way of the mustache sometimes. That’s the problem. The mustache pulls in the women but my brain and mouth get in the way then drive them away.


Do you still think Russians are the last men on earth? Hell yeah, look at the pansies we got representing us. Back to the whole drug thing. We are worried about athletes enhancing their performance? That’s been going on since the age of man. Everyone in congress can use a shot of testosterone. Every one of em. They are all full of estrogen and douche bags. Male or female. I think the females in congress have more testosterone than some of the men in office. Holy shit.


Do you have an idea of who you’ll be voting for this year? I’m voting Romney. If I could vote twice I would vote twice for Romney. Let’s just be honest and not stack the deck and bus people in and then tell people who to vote for…They’ve been buying votes since voting has been around though. My God. No one thinks about the big picture or they would piss themselves.


What do you think about God in sports? I think God is God. Yahweh. You could call him Allah or Buddha. There is one God and many different names. I talked to a friend of mine years ago and said ‘Hey, one day I want someone to say after the fight: ‘I got my ass whooped and God turned his back on me. Hahaha. I guess God liked the other guy more tonight.’ The other guy worked harder and deserved it. That’s it in life and sports: work hard and you’ll get something, lay on your ass and you’ll get nothing. The Puritans had it right, work hard and reap what you sow.


Do you appreciate today’s more evolved MMA style, more technical, over the clash of styles from the old days? Now you’re insulting me? Where do you live boy?


Chicago, I just watched UFC 8 the other day… Oh yeah have you seen UFC 9?


Of course! You better watch UFC 9. Who did I fight?


Uh, you knock out the big guy to open the show? That’s 8. That’s 8. You’re in Chicago you yankee. I’m coming for you yankee. I’m going to stomp your guts out.


Amaury Bitetti. You pronounced it wrong. You’re worse than Chael Sonnen. Every Brazilian will kill you.


What are your thoughts on Chael? Bitetti, what a fighter…Chael? He’s an extremely competent fighter, I like Chael. He’s extremely competent because he’s been beaten by the same hold four times haha. You know? Chael Sonnen is fun to listen to, but he doesn’t write his own material. Some homo in Queens living in his mother’s basement in his underwear is writing Chael’s material for him. Chael is a good guy he just isn’t smart enough to do it himself. That’s why he’s a felon, he wasn’t smart enough to not get caught. Hoho!


So Bitetti. Did you want to continue that story? No. I wanted you to tell me how great of a fight that was. But clearly you haven’t seen it.


I’ve seen it, just not recently. You lying son of a bitch.


No I’m serious, I’ve definitely seen that fight. Lies!!!


I will watch the fight again today in your honor. Lying sack of shit. You tell me about UFC 9 right now.


That was in Detroit, with the worst headliner ever – Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn. So boring. You’re full of shit.


Let me see here, no I’m right. Headlined by Shamrock… You’re looking it up on the internet!


I didn’t look it up, but I confirmed it. I rented that tape when I was fourteen. I remember this; the UFC section was next to the porn section and… You’re full of shit and if you chose the UFC over porn, there’s something wrong with you.


I couldn’t rent porn I was fourteen! I was masturbating when I was ten!


There were other means by which I could obtain porn, I didn’t have to steal it from a video store… At fourteen watching two men fight in their underwear instead of watching porn? There is something wrong with you boy…You’ve lost all credibility with me.


I told you a beautiful story about a young boy watching you fight. A beautiful story about going to a porn shop, yeah right.


So you have another action figure coming out soon, another from Round 5. how does it feel to be immortalized yet again? Fuck, I’ve been being immortalized for a decade. I love the Round 5 one’s though. Well, Pride had nice ones, the Jaks UFC ones look like shit but the Round 5 ones and the Pride action figures look the best. It’s impressive what they do to capture all the different body types, the different molds for each fighter. So many different abs and legs…


Are you happy with your figure? It looks great, they helped out my hairline but put a little too much fat on me, heh, but I love it!


Well I think that about wraps it up… That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?


This is going on a half hour, by now most people can’t wait to get off the phone. You call me up on a Sunday and you just want me to answer five questions? Well, I’ll be honest. I’m hiding from my wife, she’s mad at me for working on a Sunday and I’m supposed to be working in the garden, so lets keep this going. The longer I’m on the phone the less work I have to do.


OK Don Frye, I will chat with you on a Sunday afternoon. Who wins the UFC on Fox main event: Diaz or Miller? Ohhh shit. When is that?


Two weeks, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. Diaz (kind of grumbles and exhales)….OK where is Miller from?


Jersey I believe, he came out to the Sopranos theme… And where is the fight?


In New Jersey. If Diaz doesn’t finish him and it goes to a decision I think Miller takes it. If you’re a fighter and you are in someone’s hometown and it goes to those judges you deserve to lose. Never let it go to the judges.


Has MMA judging gotten better or worse over the years? It reached it’s climax at UFC 1. I don’t think it’s improved any or decreased any. Boxing has such a big influence on the planet for the last hundred and fifty years, that it’s just ruined perspective. You saw the fight last night between that Filipino kid and Hominick right?


Yes, I thought Hominick won. Right! In Pride rules he wins. The boxing is from England then transfers to America and then blah blah blah, but Pride rules is how it should work. The white kid should have won. So what? He had two knockdowns, two flash knockdowns, but it’s completely different in MMA and boxing is fucking it all up. God Damn, Hominick whooped the shit out of that kid in the last round and looked like he got in a car wreck yet gets his hand raised? If you whip my ass for the first two and a half rounds but I’m standing and in the last half of the third round and you’re knocked on your ass there’s something wrong. In a street fight you know you don’t say hey I won the first ten seconds! No, sorry kid, you lost.


Josh Barnett Vs. Daniel Cormier? When is that? Where is that? Why do I care? What does that do for anyone. I don’t care.


Pedro Rizzo and Fedor? I didn’t know anything about that. Same deal, when, where and who cares? What organization?


M-1. Who cares? Pedro has been on the shelf the last five years laying on the beach chasing broads and selling clothing, but all of a sudden he comes out of retirement? The Russians. this is why I say, the Russians have the most money to go out there and bring anyone out of retirement to take a fall.


A lot of people are saying Fedor is tarnishing his legacy by continuing to fight, what are your thoughts? My wife accused me of the same thing. Fighters fight. That’s what they do. If I wasn’t fighting, or hanging out here at the house doing nothing worrying about my legacy, I don’t care. Fighters fight. If you don’t understand that then I don’t know what to say.

Don enjoyed hiding from his wife’s chores so much that he said he want’s to talk to us again whenever he has work to do around the house. So expect more from Mr. Frye and his mustache.

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